Big News

Is that date on my last post for real? You mean I haven't blogged in like six weeks? You'd think after going that long without so much as a polite update I'd be here to tell you some big news. You'd think I'd have something marvelous to show for such an intelligence outage. But I really don't. I've been on a little media break. And I've been learning a lot about myself. My most important revelation is that I tend to avoid my life, and media is one of the many ways I can hide from myself.

For one thing, I quit all my Facebook games back in September. Anybody play Mafia Wars or Farmville or any of that crap? It's just a big mindless clickfest. I found myself getting OCD on remembering whether it was the strawberries or the aloe vera that needed to be click-harvested or where I was going to find more "Illegal Transaction Documents" so I could click my way to the next level and get more energy so I could keep clicking on more shit. No strategy required, all you need is a touch of mental illness.

I also quit caffeine, if you remember correctly. That actually lasted up until about a couple of weeks ago. I'm really glad I did it, too. I now know what it feels like to not use caffeine at all, and that experience has permanently changed some of my caffeine habits. Did you know that caffeine keeps you up at night? So does nicotine. I didn't believe either were that big of an influence on sleep but they are.

And finally, I'm cutting out the booze. For so many reasons this topic deserves its own post, but I've got to start somewhere, and this is where it starts. The absolute biggest reason is nothing but pure vanity. I'm sick of the extra weight I'm carrying around, and the absolute easiest (I say easy, but I don't mean easy in that way) place to eliminate calories is by eliminating the empty calories that is alcohol. Other reasons include the fact that for me, alcohol is liquid cigarettes. It's addictive, compelling, wonderful, and I love it. And that is not a healthy relationship to have with a consumable. Stefanie has been a wonderful influence as I have watched her successfully stay sober for over six months, and I'm inspired by her journey.

So here I go. I'm not going to avoid my life anymore. I have a fantastic life. There's nothing I need to avoid except the bad habits I have created to avoid my life. So if you haven't seen me in a while, just know that I haven't completely left the blogging world, I'm just rebooting myself.

Mountain Mama

Busy, busy fall. House guests, broken appliances, monsoons, yard workers that won't go away, and two two-and-a-half-year olds in two different school classes have consumed what little fall we've had. And I have hardly even taken any pictures, which is very unlike me.

It's been a revolving door of football fans in and out every weekend. I don't know how this got to be the sports bar that it has become. College football is a religion to my husband, and since I kinda hate football mostly, that's usually good blogging time. But with all the chips dips chains and whips being prepared, no brilliant posts can be concocted. I think everyone's over the whole lame-o season now, though. Thank goodness.

We have continued to nurse the fledgling yard project through continued rain. On dry days it's been elbows and assholes flinging dirt and plastic and breaking yard tools. But it's coming along. The yard guys are now working on a project in our very, very, close next door neighbor's yard and using our unfinished front yard for staging. The lead guy said he was starting to feel like the painter in Murphy Brown. You remember him? He never finished painting in the whole series.

Which brings me to the two two-and-a-half-year-olds. Getting them to understand that they have to go into separate classrooms, and can not go in the other one's class even if it is just "to see what's in there" has been tricky. I think it's safe to say, after two months of haggling, we only scream some of the time when being picked up. And the ballet class for Laura? FINALLY, she gets it, and is having fun. But now I'm exhausted.

To decompress, we've spent a lovely weekend in the mountains. The leaves have been ridiculous. The colors are as rich and vibrant as I think I have ever seen. Last night we carved our first pumpkin. After going through all my cameras with dead batteries since I haven't taken any pictures lately, we found one cell phone that didn't need a charge. So here's your picture.

Happy Fall.

Doing the Charleston

Blogging from Charleston today. I used to travel all the time being a flight attendant and all, but now I never go anywhere. This is the second time in two and a half years I have been without spawn and it feels like I forgot to put on my pants. I'm so used to them being around me all the time, it's weird to not have the responsibility.

Being in a hotel again really reminds me of my old life. The smell of the hallways, sounds of the elevator, sleeping through the roars of boisterous businessmen stumbling back to their rooms. Hotel soap. The little bottles you have to shake, smack, squeeze then stand upside down to get the scant blob of product out. I lived in these things three and four nights a week. If anyone asked me where I traveled, often, the only response I could muster was, "I don't know, but the hotel had great beds." Or "I don't know, but the bathtub at the hotel contained a number of hairs that exceeded my minimum quality standard for hairs in the bathtub."

We are here for a wedding. My husband's stepfather's daughter's wedding. Does that make her my step-sister-in-law? It's a blended family. But blended when my husband was thirty-five years old, so a bit awkward at times. That aside, I expect it to be perfectly lovely. Extraordinary. Extravagant. And I'm happy to say, I actually have a great dress, so for once, I might feel pretty good about presenting tonight.

It's been fun remembering my old air hostess days, and I will say this town is awesome. I wish I could stay longer. But it's different now. Two little precious people are waiting for me to come home to play tigers and puppy dogs and read Goodnight Moon.

Deprived

No caffeine and no artificial sweetener for six days. I am my own brand of hero. It's actually very empowering.

More Foolishness

During the deluge, my son penned a song for you. It is with great pleasure I present to you his first megahit, "Rainycheese."

PIctures of the New Backyard!

So here it is! Isn't it beautiful? Nothing but rocks and clay left now. At least the walls are holding up. We got up twice last night with storms that provided so much water, falls were spilling over the entire surface of the capstone, not just in the gentle rivulets you see here. I've never seen anything like it.

The power was out all day, so we had nothing to do. No music, no "Signing Time" breaks, no porn. But, that also meant no dishes and no laundry, so on a day I decided that I would start cutting out caffeine, chores were simply not in order. Even my cleaning girl said fuck it and went home.

So how was your day?

The Where Have I Been Post Number Seven, I Think

For awhile there, I was a posting fool. Fun while it lasted, eh?

Last we left off we had the massive landscape project underway. And I can say that as of yesterday, the hardscape is complete. No more workers peering in my windows anymore so I don't have to put on a bra first thing in the morning. It's like a fishbowl here, so it felt like I had company for a month. So now we are left with overwhelming mounds of red clay needing to be tilled with topsoil. Well, we were until last night when the deluge of rain washed red clay like red rivers careening down the hill into the foundation of the house. Nice. The kids were at the window yelling "STOP! Stop it, mama, STOOOOOOOP!!!" and then turning to me calmly saying, "I can't stop it."

The twins started preschool last week. Separated for the first time. My son did great, but my daughter, well, did not. Having recently discovered the potential power of "I can't," and "I'm not," she vetoed everything. But I think it backfired on her yesterday at her first day of ballet class. My mom took her, and as my mom said, "she was a turkey." But after our lengthy psychological analysis of the situation, we think she may have seen that making an ass of yourself takes "I can't" and "I'm not" to "this would have been fun if I weren't being such a bitch." I'm pretty sure there's something I could learn from that pearl of wisdom, too.

Other things requiring my time have been nitpicky, but numerous such as chasing after forms and such for refinancing the house. Damn. Every time you think you have everything, and that the next call will be a closing date, they ask you for something else. Did I mention that we applied on May 29th? Bureaucratic bullshit, I say. Not to mention that the last thing they asked for violated an insurance law. Very professional and esteemed organization, these folks. Then there's the doctor's form for school that took me a month and four attempts to acquire. What's with people?

We had an anniversary to celebrate which blew by in form of "oh well, maybe next year we can celebrate the last five." And like it would have been a lot of fun anyways, my poor husband has been recovering from walking pneumonia for three weeks, and the coughing fits? First of all they are remarkably loud and secondly, several have ended in hurl. But all I can think of is myself here, being entirely too close to this, nervewracking, cacophony.

So the status is, I'm still fat, my knee hurts and I don't know why, organic food's too expensive, I wish I could go back to work, I can't wear white anymore, there's Christmas shit out in stores already, I spent too much money on kids clothes today, and I can't keep clean and folded the ones I've got.

Oh and it's still raining, and the mud's still careening.